What are we for? All that is good!
What are we against? All that is not good!
Although “the only dogma allowed in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the rejection of dogma”, some general beliefs are held by Pastafarians. Pastafarians believe that the universe was created by the FSM while very drunk, the effects of which can be seen in the resulting imperfections and contradictions in the universe.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is depicted as a tangle of spaghetti with many Noodly Appendages, flanked by two delicious meatballs, and with a pair of googly eyes upon stalks. Such a depiction is merely a guess, of course, as the FSM is understandably invisible to all known forms of scientific detection.
Whether or not the FSM is actually made of pasta is the subject of intense theological debate, with many claiming that the FSM is not made of pasta, but just appears to be, while others believe that to be a Flying Spaghetti Monster, the FSM must be made of pasta. The FSM is neither male nor female, but completely genderless, as the idea of a Monotheistic deity needing a gender or genitals is pretty silly when you really think about it. The genderless term Pastafarians refer to FSM as is ‘Quob’ – as in – ‘May you be Touched by Quob’s Noodly Appendage’ instead of referring to our deity’s Noodly Appendages as ‘his’ or ‘her’ Noodly Appendages.
All followers of the FSM hold that pirates are sacred and were the first Pastafarians. Climate change, earthquakes, hurricanes and other natural disasters are directly linked to the declining number of pirates worldwide. Many Pastafarians therefore choose to wear full pirate regalia as a means to help the environment and belay natural disasters. Other Pastafarians just like wearing colanders on their heads.
The system of Pastafarianism ethics is based on the “The Eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” – a series of suggestions on how to live your life in a happy manner without infringing upon others rights to do the same with their own lives. The 8’s outline a morality which is based on harmonious co-existence, non-judgemental conduct and generally not being a dick. Worship of the FSM is not commanded or even expected. In many ways, Pastafarians believe that this ethical system is superior to all other mainstream religions.
While the beliefs professed by Pastafarians may often be accused of being a joke, satire or even a parody, (especially by the media) this is explicitly and strenuously denied by the church.
“It’s not a joke. Elements of our religion are sometimes described as satire and there are many members who do not literally believe our scripture, but this isn’t unusual in religion. A lot of Christians don’t believe the Bible is literally true – but that doesn’t mean they aren’t True Christians.” Bobby Henderson
A wide variety of people are drawn to our religion for diverse reasons, but our love of all things Noodly, our constant celebration of life, eating, drinking, our ability to laugh at ourselves, to have fun and to still be good people, usually means people stay once they have joined us.